Once again, I've had aspirations to become a priest, one learned in his ways but solely devoted to God the father. I know that deep down, becoming a priest would make me most happy because I have done God's will or because I will use the priesthood in order to balance out all the sins I've committed. The latter being a bad reason to join the priesthood.
Also, my tendencies to think about things and most of the time overthink really makes me wonder if I'm in fact at a disadvantage for being too analytical or critical of simple Catholic teaching. Is it better to believe because that's what the Church teaches, or not believe because you've thought about it and reached a conclusion contrary to the popular one? You can think and believe at the same time, but one must come first.
I don't know. I really hope college will help make these things clearer for me. Moreover, I'm trying to bridge the gap between our physical and spiritual natures. They are our two natures that I picture so separately but feel as though should be united in some way that is clear for all to see. I will continue to think about it just as I have thought about other things and I will reach a conclusion. I can only hope it's in accordance with the teachings of the Church.
Here's how I stand on the issue currently: provides that our bodies didn't exist, we would be a totally spiritual being, but naive and unknowing of reality. As a purely animalistic being, we would have no morals, only instinct. The world would become a nurtured chaos. As both, we have serious obligations including being true to one's self while assisting in the development of other people's body and spirit, that without the body the spirit would die, and without the spirit the body will die. As morality is concerned, other people come first, that with God, we can support our spiritual selves while we nourish our physical selves with the bare minimum. So that we have the energy to bring people closer to God between a more gratifying union of body and spirit and the development of each in every person. That one does not get into heaven by faith alone but by corporal works.
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If you lose the supernatural meaning of your life, your charity will be philanthropy; your purity, decency; your mortification, stupidity; your discipline, a lash; and all your works, fruitless.
St. Josemaria Escriva, The Way, 280
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